he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm too high and old for this...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize