I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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