I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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