So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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