nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I've blown a few things in my day
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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