I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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