after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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