do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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