Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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