Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
