Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
