Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
try to milk me bitch
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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