I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
