If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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