no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
