i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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