Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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