I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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