Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
