Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she told me i tasted like america
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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