I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I want to fling myself into the sun
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