Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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