atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
