we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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