yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
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In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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