nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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