it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
