im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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