It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
