We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
