I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
