I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize