matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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