she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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