we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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