So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
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"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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