wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
