Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
