Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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