there's paper in my vomit.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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