I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize