My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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