Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I want to be your penis for a week.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
