I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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