Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
