I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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