so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
