He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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