I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
