i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
