Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
