We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
