boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Last time i carry you out of a forest
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My life is pants optional.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize