I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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