The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just had sex on a roof
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
