turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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