We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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