The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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