there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
