So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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