Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
