I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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