We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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