In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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